Today, 9 Aj invites us to
- embody divine feminine power in home and family
- honor the wise women and ancestors who taught us about strength and flexibility
- celebrate the completion of a cycle through connection with nature and community
- stand tall like the cornstalk, rooted deeply in the earth while reaching for the sky with the grace of the divine feminine
Sometimes is never quite enough
If you’re flawless, then you’ll win my love
Don’t forget to win first place
Don’t forget to keep that smile on your face
~Perfect by Alanis Morissette
I was raised to be a nice girl, a good girl. Culture, society, education, and religion preferred quiet girls, submissive girls, ignorant girls. That’s what I was, in my childhood, from the 1980s until the mid-90s anyway.
I read a lot and watched a lot of TV. I played Nintendo. I did my homework. I was obedient and responsible. I got good grades. I went to slumber parties.
I started to rebel in high school, in the spring semester of my freshman year, but it was a relatively tame rebellion (e.g., two covert wine coolers on a Wednesday night) and I still got good grades and took AP classes and did all the things you’re supposed to do to eventually live the American dream. I was in clubs, paid my dues, attended meetings. I cared a whole lot about my GPA. I applied to colleges, got accepted by many of them, and was given partial scholarships that would still have left me in many thousands of dollars in debt after four years earning an undergraduate degree. I wanted to go out of state, far away, and had oddly chosen schools on the East Coast and in the Midwest, rather than in my dream state, California. My parents coerced me into going to UT-Austin, a mere 18-mile drive from my hometown, where I had a full scholarship thanks to being a “National Hispanic Scholar” or something.
So now I’m listening to hits of my high school era (1994-1998) and college years (1998-2002) as I work on those respective chapters of my memoir. Having lived in Guatemala for the past 16+ years, thus not listening to the radio or driving a car much except on brief visits to the States every year or two, these old albums and tracks are bringing back the memories of those times.
Stay tuned.
I’m free, but I’m focused
I’m green, but I’m wise
I’m hard, but I’m friendly, baby
I’m sad, but I’m laughing
I’m brave, but I’m chicken shit
I’m sick, but I’m pretty, baby
~One Hand in my Pocket by Alanis Morissette
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